A LITTLE ABOUT GRIEVING
Sooner or later we all lose someone near and dear to us. Someone who has been important in our life. The grief that follows is a part of the normal process of coming to terms with a major change in personal circumstances.
Grief is NOT an illness - it is a natural response, and may go through several stages before we can come to terms with what has happened.
Grief is particularly acute immediately after a death. Even when expected the shock of death can be emotionally highly disturbing. It can dominate our thoughts to the exclusion of everything else for several days. We may operate on 'auto-pilot', living in a dream world, with the formalities and funeral gone through a haze.
Gradually we enter an interim stage of grieving, but may never recover totally from the death of a loved one. Unexpected reminders can trigger a reaction. Something on TV may bring back memories. Certain dates - such as Birthdays or Wedding Anniversaries may be hard to endure. Christmas, New Year and Holiday times can be difficult.
There is no set timescale to the process of grieving. Factors such as our personality, our health and our finances play a part, and it may take up to two years before things get back into perspective.
This can be a difficult time. Some overwork in an attempt to block out their grief. Eating patterns may change. Sleep may be distorted. A person may under-perform and/or become forgetful. Self image and self confidence can deteriorate through a combination of the above - and may lead ultimately to a breakdown of a relationship through a partner failing to recognise that ongoing grief is the root cause.
Grief is immensely complex. Of course many find their own way through - but an increasing number need support. Thankfully social attitudes are changing. We are realising that not everyone can 'pull themselves together', or 'put it behind you and look to the future'.
Help may be needed at any stage after a death - immediately, months or occasionally years ahead. The Bereavement Trust exists to give that help.
> The first step is the difficult one.
